Tough Mudder is Right! Part 3 and FINAL

Here, we entered the second half of our little adventure. Miles 6-12 weren't nearly as much fun as the first 6. After crawling out of the mountain lake, regaining my lung capacity, and noticing a nice clean pair of shoes, we trudged on a while longer. At this point, my mood started changing. That cold gear top I was so grateful to have, became more of a burden. It did not wick moisture away. Instead, it held it nice and tight to my body. At 40-45 degrees, windy and cloudy, it wasn't the best option. It slowly leaked water onto my hands the rest of the course. Mike kept calling my fingers Jimmie Deans because they were swelling like sausages. They went from purple to white and back to purple. 

How am I supposed to grab this if I can't feel my hands?

As I slid across this wall, I kept thinking "I will CRY if I fall in that water!" I had just started shivering but jogging and jumping jacks helped with the blood flow. I did make it over the wall. Later that night, I pulled several splinters out of my hand that I *think* I got here.

Mike's shirt was better. He could still feel his hands and he cruised right over.

We pressed on and came up to the Hold Your Wood challenge. You choose your log from a giant pile trying not to look like a wimp. Some did partner carries. Mike and I chose individual logs, then we carried them up and around a hill before throwing them back on the pile. I wasn't feeling very tough at that moment so I chose a small one.

Yay! The sun came out! I kinda feel my fingers in a pins and needles sort of way.
I bet that marine behind me was thinking "This is boring. How did I get stuck here
and not pushing people off a 2 story platform?"

Hmmmm, this is awkward to carry.

Now this is more like it. Show off.

Mike wasn't so sure about Trench Warfare. That whole thought of being buried alive came to mind. However, once we got through it, not so bad. No wind. Calm. I could've laid down and taken a nap. 

Headed in quickly. Sun still out.

At least I could see where I was going.

The end already?

Made it out faster than this guy! 

That wouldn't be the only time I made it through an obstacle quicker than he did. This one, speed didn't matter as much as it would later on.

Where I received a sweet looking mud goatee.

Beat him again!

After Kiss of Mud, my hands were definitely numb again. You can't see it but there is a marine with a firehouse off to the side of this one washing people off. Mike had so much mud on his shirt and pants, he had to get sprayed. Me? I made it through without getting any mud on my shirt. Even if I was covered, there was NO way I was volunteering to be sprayed with ice cold water that wasn't part of the obstacle. You'll notice I made it through faster during this one, too. Hmmmm. I see a trend forming. Those big, strong guys dominate most challenges, but the little people, like me, coast through anything close to the ground.

That guy made it over both walls without help. 

Berlin Walls were no joke. I made some friends really fast on this set. Mike told me later he had NO problem with a stranger grabbing my backside as long as he didn't have to chuck me over that thing alone. Any feeling I had in my hands on miles 6-7 were long gone at this point. Maybe I got some splinters here?

Of course, he made the first one solo.

Mike got a small boost to help him over the second one. We were pretty sure it was 6-12 inches higher than the first. You know, to keep things interesting. I saw a few more girls walk around these. Seriously! Make a friend and get tossed over! Plenty of single, strong guys looking to be heroes. Earn that headband, ladies!

Soon after came Twinkle Toes. This is when my brain started to shut off. I wasn't worried about making it over. Mike started discussing structure and stability again. All I heard was Charlie Brown's teacher talking. WAH WAH WAH, Wah wah... In my head: "Ok Laura, what do you tell your clients? Lower your center of gravity. If you look down, you'll fall down. Just. Keep. Moving." I hear the volunteer yelling "You have to go fast!" and watching people dump in the water. I swore if I hit that water, I would lose my mind.

I took off. Step. Step. Step. THERE'S AN ELEVATED BOARD IN THE MIDDLE?!? Don't fall. Don't fall. Don't fall. Keep moving. Keep moving. Don't look down. Don't look SPLASH! (At this point, if you know me, you can hear what I yelled when I hit that water.) Some chick walked across the platform as I was pulling myself out of the water. I about grabbed her ankle and pulled her in at the exact same moment Mike came running across the beam, and almost shoulder charged her into the crowd. Be aware of your surroundings, woman.

A little wobbly.

I was definitely shivering at this point. So mad I was dripping wet again, not that I ever dried off. I couldn't bend my fingers. I tried squeezing as much water out of my sleeves as I could, to no avail. Oh goody. More mud and waist deep water just past the balance beam. I tried to take another picture of the mud hills, but the camera was completely coated.

It seemed like miles 7-9 took forever. We saw a personal trainer pushing her client up one of the trails. Now that is dedication. We don't think her client made it to the end. She looked rougher than I did. Maybe she did. I hope so. I wouldn't do one of these with a client if I didn't think they could finish. 

After a mile or so of mountain trails, we approached this ginormous thing. Cliffhanger. It looked scary. Wait a minute? We have a hill in Wichita we run. This wasn't too much taller, even if the dirt was looser. We scanned the area a bit, then took off. No problem. Made it to the top with fairly minimal effort. I felt a smidgen cocky as I passed several guys struggling. I was grasping at straws for confidence at this point.

Speed is key

Then another freaking wall! Seriously, with these. At least this one had ropes. I couldn't feel my hands, but they were still working. Mike followed me over in case I spontaneously let go and attempted a head injury.

Just like Junior High gym class.

We trekked through some actual brush. It was a single lane trail for a while. I was amazed at how many people laying on the side of the course, cramping. There were several, super sized, golf carts hauling people around. The last 4-5 miles, more people had foil wrapped around them than didn't. I kept telling myself I didn't need all that. Hindsight...

We approach Black Lightning. I have no clue what that is supposed to mean. I had gotten very flaky at this point. Still shivering uncontrollably, but now it was so bad, other mudders would point at me and whisper. If I could've felt my fingers, I would've showed them one. I just couldn't bear any more water. Please, for the love, no more water. "Is there water in there?" I asked the marine. He smirked and said "maybe a little". Hmmmm, what is so funny there, smart guy?

A giant tarp covered a low structure. People were very slow to enter.
They know something we don't.

Hmmm, what's going on in there?

This is what we could see.

Mike went in first. I chose a tunnel off to his left. It was very quiet until you turned the corner. Then I heard it. Grown men screaming like little girls and a chorus of F-bombs. It was LOUD. What on Earth is going on?!? I had the camera with me. It didn't have a flash but it did have enough light that I could see the little, live wires. Sneaky... I kept the camera on and pointed forward. Again, being a little woman paid off. I stayed low and slithered my way between them. One guy did knock one right into my ponytail. It certainly didn't tickle. I had a headache for the next several minutes. If it wasn't for him, I probably would've made it through with no shocks. Mike wasn't so lucky. Sorry about your big muscles there, babe.

I made it through faster and he wasn't very happy coming out.

That definitely perked me up a bit. Hey, a mild, electric shock will do that to you. We approach the main camp area and hear the music. Finishers are yelling and encouraging us. "Only 1 mile left!!! 4 more obstacles!!! You got this!" Are they messing with us? That would be awesome. Which ones haven't we done yet? My brain is scrambled from the jolt, the dehydration, and the hypothermia. Whatever, Laura. One. More. Mile. One. More. Mile. Water. My heart dropped. Boa Constrictor.

I'm on the verge of tears just looking at this. The spectators crossing
were wearing ski gear and stocking caps.

Mike takes off down the tube on the right, and I slid in the one next to him. That water didn't look that deep. I bet I can stay out of it! NOPE. Barbed wire. Of course, there was barbed wire. Well, there was no backing out. I crawled through, and the water was warmer than I was. Pleasant surprise. Up the other side, I made it out before Mike. I looked down his tunnel and he was stuck. He couldn't get traction to climb up and out. I sat down and gave him a foot to grab. I had to use my leg to pull him, and the next guy, up, and out of the tube.

We discuss that it wasn't too bad as we come around the corner, just to look down the hill at this. That's Walk the Plank down there. You might have noticed Mike and I haven't stopped to take pictures of each other participating in each obstacle. We were just trying to get through them as quickly as we could and it was a miracle I snapped any at all. I am pitching a pretty good fit as we approach this one. Mike said I could walk around it, but reminded me how tacky I thought it was when those other girls skipped obstacles. FINE. I climbed up onto the platform and stood shivering so hard I looked like a white guy trying to dance at the club. The very attractive (this helped) marine looked at me and asked "Are you OK ma'am?" DO I LOOK LIKE A MA'AM TO YOU!? is what I thought in my head. What I said was "I'm so FREAKING cold!" Only I didn't say "freaking". He asked if I needed a push. I'm thinking "Seriously, dude. If you dare push me, I will climb back up here and push YOU in." Instead I pointed to Mike and said that we'd be jumping together.

I take a leap, and grab my headband. Why I cared so much about the sleeve of a t-shirt at that moment, you've got me. I hit the water feet first then ended up doing a backwards roll. Oh crap. There's a camera in my bra. Ok. Still there. Nice Laura. Worry about the headband and not the 4 hours of pictures documenting this "wonderful" journey. (Can you all sense my thick sarcasm and crankiness?) Then some woman is sitting in my path to get out of the water laughing at her friend that probably got pushed off. "Get the heck out of the way!!!" I yell in my head, only I didn't use "heck". She saw the death look on my face. It must've been enough to get my point across.

It looks way higher when you are standing up there. 

I come out of the water. People were staring and pointing now. I couldn't control the shivering. I couldn't feel my hands or forearms. For the first time, I notice my feet were cold. What a blessing it was just one set of limbs up until this point.

Then this happened. Electric Eel. I stood right there and cried. Not for long. Only a few tears. Mike grabbed me. I knew he was miserable, too. I got so mad at myself, I dried my tears on the only spot of his shoulder that didn't have mud on it and went for it. I laid flat on my face in the water I dreaded so much. I think that scared me more than the electric shocks. At least we could see these. The same chorus of cuss words and screams surrounded me. I made it to the very end. Took one shock on my right calf as I was being pulled out. I remember yelling "Please someone come get me!" and they did.

P.S. That's NOT Mike with the fanny pack.. He's WAY more bow-legged than that. 

Ok, water obstacles are over. I made it. It renewed my spirit slightly as we approached Everest. I did grab some foil as we waited for all those people in front of us to go. Most of them loitered a bit. Mike looked at me and said "I'm cramping, babe. I gotta go before my knee locks up." We drop the foil and he takes off. He is so fast. I knew he'd make it. If some chick "helping" at the top would've gotten out of the way, he probably could've made it on his own.

My turn. I run as fast as I can and jump right at Mike and a marine pulling people up. These guys must be so tired at the end of the day after dragging tons of us over that wall. Mike and I locked hands like we were in a movie. The marine and I, not so much. He let go. I yelled "I'm NOT going back down!" He grabbed my wrist and pulled my hand over. I hung on for dear life as he and Mike dragged me over. It wasn't pretty, but it only took one try.

Wondering if I have enough left in my legs for this. 

There it is. One obstacle left. Electroshock Therapy. The only thing between me and an orange headband. I deserved it. Those punks standing there joined together as a team and wouldn't move. I'm yelling all sorts of things to get them to go. Someone is spraying a fireman hose through the wires at people that won't start running. Mike and I jump around them and over those hay bales. We're on a dead sprint. Neither one of us waiting on the other. Teamwork? We both knew we could hold hands later. We wanted to be done. I believe he got hit 3 times and guess what? I only got hit once. The guy with the hose either felt sorry for me shaking as badly as I was, or respected that we charged right in, because he didn't spray us once. 

Bring it on.

DONE!!!! WE'RE FINALLY DONE!!! Give me that headband before I punch you in the throat! Where's the beer?! Screw it, I can't feel my hands. Mike lost his wristband so they won't even give him one. Are you freaking kidding me?! We may have earned that beer but we didn't want it.

Well, why wouldn't the sun come out once we were done?

Why are our faces so fat? Hypothermia? Dehydration? Who cares. We finished....

The mile and a half hike back to car was cruel. Mike's knee locked up and he couldn't hardly walk. I have hands? I couldn't feel them. Once we made it back, I stripped naked in the mostly empty parking lot and didn't care who saw my bare backside. I was so excited to get something dry on. We finally sat down, car heater blasting, and smiled at each other with dumbfounded looks on our faces. "Well, that was stupid..."

Can't wait to do it again! Well, I'll prepare better. I'll get there early enough to shop before, and not after. I won't wear a chamois, I'll wear something that wicks water. However, it only took 2 days before we decided it was worth it!

Follow me on Twitter: @LauraHeddenPT

Find me building a snow man tomorrow with my babies!

Tough Mudder is Right! Part 2:

Now that you've read about the Warrior Dash length of the Tough Mudder, let's conquer the next 25%. During miles 3-6, I remember thinking:

"Seriously, it's only been 4 miles?" 

"I wonder how many more obstacles are left?" 

"I sure wish the sun would stay out." 

"I hope Mike and I can do stuff like this for a long time." 

"SQUIRREL!"

"I wonder what we'll have for dinner tonight." 

"What kind of beer do they serve? Wait, who cares. It's free."

"What on Earth is that person wearing?" 

"I don't think I want to know how gross my feet must be. I'm scheduling a mani/pedi immediately after we get home."

"I'm sure glad I'm not the person that has to clean out those porta potties."

"SQUIRREL!"

Now, don't worry. Mike and I did talk to each other. I always love where our conversations go. I won't bore you with the smushy stuff, but we did discuss pain for a while. Knee pain, foot pain, rock in shoe pain, hands going numb pain, wrist pain, what we would do if we could switch pain with each other. We had a lot of time on our hands. We ran some. We jogged some. We hiked the most. 

My shoes went from clean to muddy to clean several times that afternoon.

Dinosaurs fighting. Why not?

 Some of the most interesting people we met along the way were those in costumes. Below, you will find some ghostbusters. Although, they said they couldn't call themselves that. They were "Mudders". They had patches made and everything. We saw a guy in a three piece suit. Another one in just boxer briefs. Several people without shirts on. They finished before those giant clouds got even more giant. Lucky bastards.

We're headed up to the water station.

We discovered lots of clothing and debris left along the way. The weekend before this, Mike and I went on a Ruck with a group preparing for the GoRuck challenge. For every item we saw that morning, we did 10 squats. Granted, we were carrying our packs with bricks then. We felt like we were cheating a little bit when we did our squats without them. Oh wait, we're on a 12 mile obstacle course. Hmmm, maybe we skip the squats, and work on finishing before dark. After all, there were 37, 576 articles of clothing along the way.

10 squats for clothing item on the ground.

As we approach the Funky Monkey, Mike was more concerned with the trusses than the giant pool of freezing water underneath. Well, he IS a truss salesman. While I was busy trying to decide if I should just run and jump out as far as possible or attempt at least three rungs of the monkey bars, he was checking the structural integrity of the obstacle. Oh Michael. I made it two rungs then swam the rest of the way.

I'm sure those sheets of plywood held it together just fine. 

Roar. 

We still felt a little silly around miles 5 and 6. We did our best T-Rex impersonations before heading off to several mud hills. Remember that girl I told you about before? The one that skipped the 12 foot wall. She attempted to skip the mud hills, too. We didn't let her. I caught her attention as she was walking away and told her that we would team up to help her. That shyness coming out in me again, I guess. Her boyfriend was all for it. Mike and I each grabbed a butt cheek, and pushed her on up that slippery hill. Then we ran past her to the next one. 

No problem. 

He fell in the water when taking my picture. Seriously, ran over the hill then fell taking a picture.
That's my boy.

On my way down. Then I slipped and that's when I lodged several peddles in my hand.
He was still struggling to stand up straight.

Not quite Surfin' USA

We're past chilly now. More time in the mud pits. Cold air, cold water, no sun. My hands were purple after the mud sliding. We stopped to rinse our shoes out at a lake then took off down a beach. Oh crap. There were giant pipes floating in the water. Looked like it was time to get my hair wet. So glad we stopped 20 yards earlier to rinse our shoes off when we could've just done this.

It's cold Baby!

 Mike took off and quickly dove under all of them. Do you see the guy on the right? He wouldn't move. I finally yelled at him to hurry up so I didn't hit him as I came up the other side. We couldn't see under water. Just close your eyes and go for it. My shoes were definitely clean after this. It was COLD. Like an overweight elephant on your chest, take your breath away, too cold to cuss, cold. Way more effective at shocking the body than the Arctic Enema. After we got out, the volunteer thought it would be a good time to tell us we still had 16 obstacles to go. THANKS MAN! Helpful. Then we saw this sign.

One of the most well placed signs of the course. 

Dry your eyes, indeed. Six miles and 16 obstacles to go...

"Tough Mudder is Right! Part 3:" soon to come

Follow me on Twitter: @LauraHeddenPT

Mountains are fun :-)

Tough Mudder is Right! Part 1:

Three days ago, I completed my first Tough Mudder. I should probably back up a bit for all of you since I spent more time training the last few months instead of blogging about it. However, it's me and I figure, let's jump right in!

Mike and I decide on Tough Mudder SoCal after talking with some friends that live out there. They had considered it, and well, Mike and I always take "maybe" as "LET'S DO THIS". If you watch the show, How I Met Your Mother, you will understand when I say CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! 

We register for the race, book our flight, and start brainstorming quotes for T-shirts. It's us. It's what we do. Our friends looked at us like we were insane. In their minds, I imagine they were thinking "Wow. Seriously. We just said maybe it would be fun do this together, and these crazies are flying halfway across the country after a conversation at dinner?" Yes. Mike and I do that. I decide to do something crazy fun as a couple, and he makes it happen. 

What I think ACTUALLY happens is that my brain immediately goes to "Wow! We should totally do that! What a great way to bond with my husband!" and he thinks "Are you serious with this? I have to take on another challenge that can potentially give me OR my wife another serious joint surgery or broken bone? Not to mention how much this will cost us! FINE. I can't let her be tougher than me." I know deep down he thinks it's cool. 

So here we were, because I'm cute and he's agreeable, in Vail Park, Ca. On the way up to the starting line I heard a silly, little blonde thing exclaim "I sure hope I used my waterproof mascara this morning!" Oh honey, mascara is the least of your concerns. Then we see the wall you have to jump over the wall to get to the start line. Yes. You have to jump over a 6 foot wall before you can even start. I made it over. Barely. This is a point when I was grateful I brought that Under Armour cold gear top even though it looked silly. That will change...

Blissfully unaware

The energy at the start of the race was incredible. A group of people that are just a ball of nervous energy, excitement and pride in themselves for even getting as far as the start line. I wish I could've gotten a good picture of the "announcer" or whatever he was. He lifted anxious spirits, reminded us why were there, and above all, gave thanks to the soldiers that have, and continue to fight, for our country. You've never heard a national anthem sound quite so inspiring, until you hear veterans sing it.

Taking the Tough Mudder pledge

Then we're off to play King of the Mountain! Seriously. We don't have these in Kansas. I ask Mike if altitude can affect you if you are technically close to sea level. We have no idea what altitude we are actually at, but I do know I don't run as fast as he does. It's a good excuse, and just means that I need to step up my game at home. Here we are coming up on the second obstacle. Sweet. Let's do this. Make some friends and get a team challenge under our belts. The first obstacle was through a pit of mud under some barbed wire. Not bad...

That sign says "HELP YOUR FELLOW MUDDERS" in case you can't read it. It was just Mike and I. We needed friends. I knew after banging myself up getting over the starting line wall, that I needed help. Being the shy (note sarcasm) person I am, 3 seconds later, I found someone to help Mike throw me over the wall. Literally. Three guys threw me to the top of that wall. Mike scaled it all by himself. Damn him and his crazy athleticism. Then oh goodie. We get to do it again. There is a second wall. 

I will say, even though you don't see her, a girl on the other side of that wall, walked around it. I can be a tattle tale. SHE WALKED AROUND IT. I almost smacked her. COME ON! It's the FIRST OBSTACLE and you SKIPPED it! Oh, I get it. Your boyfriend made you do a Tough Mudder. I was pissed. That girl was going to get a headband at the end without completing all the tasks. Grrr. This thought pops back into my mind about 3.5 hours later.

Isn't he cute?

They break you in slowly. A few miles of running, then a team challenge followed by some more mud and barbed wire, or maybe it was the other way around. Either way, we still covered a several miles up a mountain, down a mountain, around a mountain, you get it. 

We conquered that path. 

Then it was time for the Wounded Warrior Challenge. We could've walked this one. Mike carried me through the first part of the challenge and then we switched, as instructed, we're no punks that skip obstacles. I didn't make it far, but I was impressed with myself that I got him on my shoulders.

Mike is smiling but he was thinking "Take the damn picture before she drops me."

After discussing how cold my hands were getting, we saw a sign that said "If you were in a Warrior Dash you would be done by now" or something like that. We laughed and talked about how much fun we were having. It was challenging for sure, but fun. Little did we know we had 3.5 hours left. 

We stopped and looked around for a bit and appreciated the view. It was a moment that all I could do was
thank God and appreciate how awesome He really is to create something so amazing. 

See the tents close to the lake? We didn't get close to those for another hour or so. Do you see the pair of white rectangle looking things off on their own? Those were the Arctic Enema tanks we discovered. 

Tarp covered trash container filled with ice water. Mud provided by participants.

It was exactly like it looks in the picture. A giant, muddy pile of ice in a tank, and we got in it VOLUNTARILY. I have spent a fair share of time in ice baths in my college days. It felt very similar. Pins and needles and are you kidding me?!?! Oh wait, my knees instantly feel nice. Hold on a minute. I have to go under that beam? Hmmm, never went chest deep in college, but I can jump right out. We go for it. 

 Of course, Mike goes right through it, no problem. Figures...

The chick to my right didn't realize she could put her feet down, or she's a moron.

I stood there for a little bit and waited for the volunteer to take my pic. I was cold but still could give the thumbs up. 

The face is not because I was so cold, but because my boobs hit the water under that beam.
THAT wasn't pleasant. 

I realized the hardest part of this for me was not just the cold, but walking through it. All the ice in the tank was like a cement pile. Slow. Motion. Freeze. By the end, I really did want out, but probably could've sat there for a while. It had this odd, familiar feel to it that reminded me of college. Hey, who doesn't want to be a collegiate athlete again? 

*More to come... "Tough Mudder is right! Part 2:" in a few days. 

Follow me on Twitter: @LauraHeddenPT

Find me on a mountain skiing in a few days.